Author Archives: The Loop

Getting older is not something most people older than 21 ever want. Having only passed this milestone a few years ago, this idea is fresh for me. I don’t want to get older, but I love having birthdays. I’m sure that makes sense somehow, but I don’t know how. At any rate, my body is […]

So, apparently, someone here at work has been making a mess in the men’s room. Paper towels in the urinals and on the floor, the toilets are getting backed up, there’s just a general disarray in the bathroom. In my first weeks here the men were rounded up and told about this, and apparently it […]

The other night I made roughly 30 grilled cheese sandwiches, using a variety of breads, cheeses, and condiments. With all of the available ingredients, there were hundreds of sandwich possibilities, and I tried to hit as many of them as possible. The Bread Potato bread is the standard that all other breads are compared to […]

I have been moved to the phone team, or Live Team, per my request. Writing over 100 emails in a day may be fun for some, but I’d rather talk to the person and get the problems resolved on the phone. In a stroke of brilliance, I was seated between a guy named Chris, and […]

For years now I have tried to land myself a Monday thru Friday job working 9-6, or something as close to that as possible. The closest I had gotten to this was working for the $camatologists, which lasted but a week. When I interviewed for the position at eHarmony, I was told that I would […]

Last Friday I was fortunate enough to meet a Amanda’s dad who was in town taking in the sites and whatnot. I had met her mom before, and had heard a good deal about her dad, so I was especially eager to meet her other creator. She had dinner at her house for about 14 […]

This isn’t like Cartman’s idea for making 10 million dollars, but I have an idea for a website. I’d say what it is, but don’t want to get jacked. Needless to say, if this takes off, this will surely make me, well, money. Not rich, but I’d be sitting pretty. Now all I need are […]

No car, new job, sick pets, depressed wife… I’ve been home a lot lately, and I miss everyone. I feel very alone. On the brighter side, my car is being fixed, and I am getting out of the house this weekend to see friends. Even so, I almost cried just now typing that second line. […]

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn Your name: Weapon of Choice: Machete Your Favorite Target: Europeans Your Kill Count: 1,990,263,362 Your Battle Cry: “Enlarge your penis with this ALL-NATURAL PILL!” Years You Spend in Jail: 30 How Much Money In Damages You Cause: $95,306,894,005,840 Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 21% Quiz created with MemeGen! I’m guessing that […]

april fools.