The Cretin

There’s a moron who sits next to me at work.  He is despised by many here, and not because he’s mean, per se.  No, he’s just rock fucking dumb.

He stands while talking on the phone.

He speaks loudly on the phone.  There was one time he was speaking loudly on the phone, then turned to someone who sits 12 feet away and used a whisper.  So, the logic here is that for 12 foot distances, whisper, and for the phone that is inches from your face, speak loudly.

He has no idea what he’s talking about as far as work is concerned.

He reminds me a lot of my dad, actually.  If my dad were ghetto and chinese.

“I LOVED the octopus!”

The theatre I’m a member of consists of directors that have been doing improv for decades, established groups that have been in the game for a while, and rookie/JV groups that are performing and learning the ropes.   I joined the theatre in March or so, and I’ve been performing  frequently since then, moving up the ranks from the rookies to JV, and just recently I’ve started the transition in to a varsity/veteran group.  I’ve passed up a fair number of people in the process, but luckily there hasn’t been any bitterness thrown my way.  Just laughs and praise.
Last night was a rather interesting evening in the land of improv.   The established groups along with a newly formed group of folks moving up from JV each had a chance to perform 20 minutes in front of the 5 directors and show them what they’ve got.  I don’t know 100% what the intentions were here, except that in my case we are getting a new group together, so they likely wanted to see that we could  be a cohesive group.  After each group performed their 20 minutes, the directors were then able to say which group shined, and which performers shined.  There were roughly 50 people in that theatre, and only a few names were going to be said aloud.

We got our lineup of games together, and I was set to be in 3 games.  Because of time we were only able to get 4 games out, so I got a fair amount of stage time, all things considered.  The first game we played is Blind Screw Your Neighbor Tag Freeze.  This game has everyone in the cast lined up upstage with their backs to the audience while two cast members act out some scenario that is initially based on their body positions.  At any time the people in the line can yell “FREEZE!” then a person’s name in the lineup, who will turn around, look at the positions that the now frozen actors are in, and take one of their positions and create a completely new scenario based on these body positions.  Good fun, kinda played out a little flat at the beginning, but it got us pumped.

The second game played didn’t involve me, so I was able to go backstage and relax a moment.

Third game was 4 Corners, where 4 actors are in a square formation.  The 2 people in front are the ones acting, and the orientation of the 4 people are controlled by a 5th person by way of yelling “2 to the left!” or “1 to the right!”  The relationships between the two actors can be anything, really.  two of the people last night were a Rubik’s Cube and a stapler.  In one scene, I was part of a Gum Chewing Chamionship (I created conflict by giving myself lockjaw, having been to a taffy festival the day before).  The suggestion I asked for in my other scene was, “We have a Wilbur/Mr. Ed relationship. What’s the animal?”  I got octopus.  I got a lot of laughs from it, and really hit the mark.  Many of the folks came up to me afterwards mentioning that sketch, admiring my commitment to the character, and the hilariousness that I was able to create with such an unlikely situation.  Lying on my back with my limbs moving about probably helped.

The last game played was Return Counter, where I was working a return counter and people came in returning items, and I had to guess what those items were.  Last night a bra, falafel, and a woman’s chest hair were returned.  I made a choice at the beginning to try out a new character, a war vet with a voice box.  It went well, and I will bring that guy back, but not for that game in all likelihood.

Our group wasn’t any of the director’s picks, but that was to be expected.  And, while I wasn’t any of the directors’ favorite male from the entire evening, I got a nod from at least two of them, and the head honcho gave favorite male/female for each group as well, and I was his pick from our group.  I can’t tell you what this means to me.  He hadn’t really had a chance to see me work since my audition, and looking back I didn’t know shit at that point.  Now he knows I’m the bomb.  “You went way up on my wine list tonight.”  Ah, yes…  The Cabernet Dork…  1980…  good year.
I will likely start having the weekly shows on Fridays at 8pm.  Much better than Sundays at 8pm.

As of now, our group is called 8 Ball.  Because we’re going to perform at 8, and because there are 8 of us in the group, and because with the 4 guys in the group there are 8 balls between us.

FREEZE!  LOOP!

Improvise

I had been taking acting classes and performing in plays at Pasadena City College, but I hadn’t really done much comedy.  Now that I’m doing improv weekly, I feel more alive.  I can’t explain it.  Having this at the end/beginning of the week makes the week go by faster, and more enjoyable.

I make funny.

Tonight I’m a little nervous, as I have been moved up to the Varsity/Big Boys/Veterans/Cool Kids group, and those of us that have just moved up will have 20 minutes to play with tonight.  In front of the big guys in the theatre.

No pressure.  If you get stuck, improvise.

Brimming, bubbling, burning

The man burns this month.

I’m in a weekly improv show, and I’m going to extra rehearsals and shows in the hopes that I might get a solid group together.
I’m single, and acting the free spirit.

Life is chaotic, in other words.  This is why I don’t post.  Do I have stories?  Of course.  And to tide you over, I’ll bring one out.

I was riding along La Cienega on the way home, and the back tire went flat.  Ugh.  A Nuisance, but considering when I installed this super-industrial tire, it had a good run, and I put it through some shit.  I bought a couple tubes, thinking I might as well get the extra I’d need for Burning Man.  I got home, changed the tire, pumped it up, left for work that next morning.  Hmm, not inflated all the way.  Pumped it up again, good to go.  100 yards later, flat as a pancake.  Took the bike to the repair shop so they could give the rim/tire the once over, and they found a shard of metal inside the tire.  YAY!  New tire installed, I rode away happy and free.

A week later, I was riding down La Cienega on the way home.  A car was in the crosswalk, blocking access to the handicapped ramp to the sidewalk.  I ride on the sidewalk in various areas of LA.  If you’ve driven in LA, you understand that this is in everyone’s better interest that I do so.  With the ramp blocked, I had the great idea that I could jump up the curb.  Well, I was mostly right.  Back tire, flat, five feet further.

I replaced the tire, got an industrial fuck-me-in-the-ass-prison tire, and I’m riding fine.  Got an extra industrial tube, too, so I have two spares, and I got the dealies to take the tire off.  I can change a tire like crazy now.  I’m also becoming more and more excited that I will be buying a new bike after Burning Man.

Wii Balance Board

Nintendo, just now, announced their new gadget for the Wii, the Wii Balance Board.  It is a pressure sensitive platform, about the surfzce area of a milk crate and as tall as a bathroom scale.  It measures pressure throughout its surface, so it can tell if you are leaning, bending over, rotating at the hips, etc.  It can tell you how balanced you are.

The demonstrations involved a woman doing yoga stretches.  The screen elements mimicked her movements.  And told her how balanced she was on one foot while she was lifting the other leg.  WiiFit.

Then there was a soccer demo, where you’re a soccer player leaning left and right. There are soccer balls flying at you, and you have to head butt them.  Avoid the flying cleets.  All played by leaning left and right.

I’m almost afraid of what will happen when this is combined with the wiimote.

Then they closed with their missions statement, which is basically to make video games the #1 choice for leisure activities worldwide, for all ages.

I love Nintendo with every inch of my dork.

Random

Friday I left work, went home, ate some dinner and killed some time before a fellow improv person’s birthday party, which was starting late as she was getting off work late.  The party was good times, just a few people together, drinking and playing charades.  Your faithful Loopy dominated.  I got home at 6am.

After waking up at 1 or so, I got ready for rehearsal for Hedwig, and went out to Long Beach.  Had a good time, got the songs down pretty tight.  After we were done, Patrick asked if I wanted a ride to Pasadena.  I had no plans, and I was fairly certain that if we were to hang out, it wouldn’t be long, as this was woman time.  Woman time isn’t to be trifled with, but I threw caution to the wind and went out to the City of Roses.  En route, I got a hold of my brother, who picked me up and brought me back to the family’s pad.

Hung out there for a while, then got a call from Curtis, who was going to a show in Hollywood.  My brother and I went out there, and heard some awesome mashups by some great DJ’s, then a live mashup band played, and rocked my socks off.  1979 and Don’t Stop Believin’, I tell you!

After the show, I went back to Pasadena and crashed.  The next morning I went out to Sherman Oaks to make funny, and as it turns out some friends came, lastminute, and I went back to their place in Monrovia after the show.  This meant a ride on the Gold and Red lines.  I fell asleep on the Gold line, as I only had 2 hours of sleep.  I made it to work anyhow, and was hating life for most of it.  Luckily the calls weren’t bad, and I was able to get a cobb salad for lunch.  That’s how I treat myself.  It’s just so evil.

Finally home, I’m pooped.  Thank god for self-medicating.

Bewbz.