Red Flags

Am I overanalyzing?
Am I seeing signs that I was blind to in the past in other relationships?
Am I trying to see signs that aren’t there?

I had made a decision regarding women, and chose C.  My only hesitation with doing so initially was that I was afraid of being in a relationship. Of course, now that I’ve started seeing her, all of those things that I feared (before I even knew the person) have come up.  Communication, boundaries, all the basics in getting to know someone and figuring out whether they’re a fit.  In the past, I’d blinded myself during this stage of the relationship by my infatuations with them.  This time around I’m doing my best to tell my infatuation to STFU and listen to reason.  I’m really afraid that this means I’m overanalyzing the situation, and ruling out something that might be really great.  I’m also afraid that I will push through it and get burned.

I don’t know if I’m ready, and if I’m ready, I’m not sure what is going on here.

/me begs the universe for clarity.

And then it comes full circle

Dear Mrs. Stern, Ms. McDonough, Mrs. Reilly, Ms. Carol, Mrs. Ryan, Mrs. Serna, Ms. Porter, Mrs. Cann, Ms. Conley, Mrs. Landolph, Mr. Flahive, Ms. Mahoney, Mrs. O’Meara, Ms. Cadigan, Mrs. Sanchez, Ms. Younker, Ms. Birdsall, Mr. Robinett, Ms. Uyemura, Ms. Collins, Mlle. Hurley, Ms. Hoffman, Ms. Stelmach, Mr. Davis, Mr. Rosenblatt, Dr. Verde, Mr. Calafat, Ms. Lake, Mr. Ramirez, and Mr. Fay,

Having each sent me out of class in the past, been frustrated with my not doing work, or some combination of the two, I am happy to tell you that you have all gotten your wish.  I am now a Behavioral Aide at an elementary school.  Now I am the person that students who act as I did have to go to for guidance.  I suppose I am the best candidate for the job because of all of your persistence with me, and for that I am eternally grateful.  It has made me a  better person, and moreover it has helped me in this new job immensely.

Thank you all for your patience, and your perseverence.  I owe you all a big hug, as do all the kids I work with.

-Christopher Loop
aka Mr. Loop (I am still getting used to that one)

Here, there, and everywhere

My head is in any number of places at any given time these days.  Finding a job, finishing the show (this is the last weekend, tickets are likely sold out, but if they aren’t you better come), and figuring out what my feelings are regarding the fairer sex.  Those that please the eye don’t ring the bells, and those that ring the bells have red flags with “Danger, The Loop, DANGER!” written all over them.

I am constantly wanting what (who, really) I can’t have, and not wanting what is readily available to me (see: The Human Condition).  Pretty much any reason that you can imagine as to why I shouldn’t be with any given woman, I’m running in to those issues these days.  Marital status, sexual orientation, religion, politics, and lifestyle…  they’re all keeping me steadily single.  Not that I’m looking for a relationship, really, but I tend to miss being affectionate and having someone be affectionate with me.  At least I’m wiser these days, and understand myself much more than I did several years ago.

What’s really funny is that I got an anonymous email several months ago from who I believe to be one of my exgirlfriends, and though I had written them off, I’m almost interested in rekindling a friendship.  The funny part about this is that I’m not lacking in friendship at all; I am surrounded by friends that support and love me as I do them.  Perhaps I am feeling like Jack Nicholson in Something’s Gotta Give when he goes up to all the women he’d been with.  Not to relive the glory days, or even to try to make it “all better,” but to somehow learn from those days of yore.

Know anyone that’s hiring?

Women

These are interesting times, oh, my brothers…

There’s girl A, a former coworker.  Not exactly my type, per se, but we connect on a lot of levels.

Girl B is just flat out FWB, but haven’t taken up the B yet.

Girl C is girlfriend material.  And totally my type.

So, for the past year I’ve been using the mantra “No girlfriend for The Loop.”  This mantra is fading, though it is still present.

Oh, Loop…

On a related but just funny as hell note, I submit for your attention:

Girl D.  A fellow castmate that is married, but has a thing for you anyway.

YAY!

You Can’t Imagine

Rehearsals, performances, losing my job, looking for work, crashing on couches, and trying to have a social life…

It’s been hectic, but I’m alive and well.

Come see my show.  www.sierramadreplayhouse.org

We’re doing a musical version of Narnia.  The parts are double cast, but I was able to land 2 parts, so for half the shows I’m playing Mr. Beaver and for the rest of the shows I’m playing Mr. Tumnus/Leopard/Squirrel/Gorgon/Cruelie #2.  If you are planning on making it to any show, let me know so we can do something after.  There are two bars and a few restaurants within walking distance, depending on what your preference is.

LONG LIVE THE PROPHECY, AND THE TRUE KING JESUS ASLAN!

I got cast in the musical version of Narnia at the Sierra Madre Playhouse.  I’ll be playing Mr. Tumnus.  I’m giddier than you can imagine.  I haven’t done musical theatre in 13 years, and this is my first official show that isn’t at school.

Giddy, I tell you.

Burning Man 2007 III

The next few days melted in to each other.  I worked at Arctica in the afternoon, spent the morning around camp, and after work I would deliver the ice to camp, then go out and about talking to people, seeing art, drinking, dancing, and living it up.  The entire time wearing a skirt (I had several, and they were AWESOME), a Camelbak, and a lightsaber (you really don’t want to go out there unarmed).

While working at Arctica one day, 3 girls came up to the register in need of ice.  They had no money.  One of the girls offered one of her friends up to me to make out in exchange for ice.  Ever the gentleman, I declined the pimped friend, and bought them 2 bags of ice.  I later went to their camp and hung out with them.  An Aussie, A Brit, and a Canadian, these were 3 cute girls, I’ll tell you what.  🙂

My final shift was Friday, and Friday was the day I was washed of my sins.

*TO BE CONTINUED*

Burning Man 2007 Chapter II

The trip in to Black Rock City was slow-going, due to the trailer being towed.  Thanks to us, hundreds of people behind us were all driving the speed limit.  Safety third, after all…

We planned to get there at Gates Open at midnight, and that we did, but there was a fair amount of waiting because tickets (mine included) was at Will Call.  Ticket in hand, we went in to the city, which was brimming with chaos and excitement.  Those that went ahead found a spot for our camp, and when we got there we started in the task of setting up camp.  Canopies, tents, and other equipment set up, the camp was off to a good start.  Throughout the next few days, the rest of the shade was erected, mostly due to the kickassedness of Danae and mostly captain.  Lounge chairs, parachute, covered tents…  it was awesome.  I could sleep in my tent well past noon, and the sun wouldn’t hit my tent once.

That first morning I didn’t go to bed immediately, nor did a few others in camp.  Instead, after we were settled, we went out to the man, which is the first thing I do after setting up camp.  Ritual, tradition, call it what you will.  My way was towards the man, as so we went.

When we got to the man, there were some Black Rock City Rangers walking about, as they do, guarding the man while construction was being done on the pavilion beneath the man.  We talked to one who shard an extremely personal moment with us about how Burning Man changed his life.  He told us what he was burning this year, and we all got a bit teary eyed.  These were a bit personal and special, so I won’t talk of them here.  The moment was shared, and it was the perfect beginning of the perfect week.

Drowsy, achy, and in need of a beer’n’a’bowl, we went back to camp for much needed sleep.

*TO BE CONTINUED*

Burning Man 2007 Chapter I

I arranged with my supervisor to get off work early Friday the 24th so that I could get to the Burning Man Pre-Party at Cathy’s house.  She was arranging quite the spread, there were to be tons of great people there, and good times were to be had by all. These expectations were met and exceeded.  thebombmom isn’t just a clever name…

I crashed at Panda’s, then we woke around 3am or so to bust the fuck out.  It’s late as I type this, and at the time I didn’t exactly have a lot of sleep under my belt, nor was I exactly what one might describe as sober.  It was fucking early.  We needed to get over the grapevine before the sun came up.  We succeeded in this endeavor.  I bought junk food in the gas stations that I’d never put in my body, typically.  But I needed sustenance.  The rule of riding shotgun in mostly’s vehicle is that you be awake 100% of the time.  I was nodding off on the way up until I got some coffee, then I was set.

In the truck were mostly, Pat, and Julia.  mostly drove the WHOLE WAY, because he’s hot shit.  Pat and Julia in the back made the trip completely and totally enjoyable, the entire way up.  I have known mostly for 14 years, I met Julia at Burning Man in 2001, and I had known Pat for about a week or so.  My spectrum was complete.  *BLISS*

We arrived in Reno on Saturday afternoon, got in to our rooms, showered, relaxed, gambled, drank, bought supplies, connected to the internet, drank, ate food, christened the trailer (Brave, The Third), drank…  It was a great time.

The next destination on Sunday (after eating buffet, because food so readily available and bountiful wouldn’t be around for a week) was Black Rock City…

*TO BE CONTINUED *