I turn 25 on June 11th, and I believe that I am having my quarter life crisis. When I graduated from high school I wanted to be a teacher. I’m good with kids, I felt passionate about math, and I was fairly decent at tutoring math, so it was a rational way to go. I was working part time, went to school, and lived with the folks. This, of course, is where the story gets interesting.
I kept ditching school, and eventually stopped going entirely. I was a slacker. There isn’t an excuse for it, that’s just what happened. I started working full time, and liked the money that came with it. Since I was paying minimal rent to the folks, most of the money went to partying. This, again, is where the story gets even more interesting.
My family got a notice to leave the apartment we were living in. Not an eviction, but merely “Please leave.” See, we’d been there long enough that with restricitons on annual rent increases they weren’t making money on us anymore. So they kicked us out, fixed up the place, and hiked the rent super high. My folks found a place, but it would mean that I would have to find a new place of my own. I shacked up with Brett while I found my place, which was within about 2 weeks. I lived with an old buddy from high school. While living there I worked full time, and lived in a cloud of smoke and booze.
From there I moved in with another coulpe of buddies from high school, etc. While there I still worked full time, and lived in a cloud of smoke and booze. I drank daily, smoked a pack a day, didn’t do much, played video games all day, and had no sight of my goals. It was during my time living there that I met Milca. My eyes opened to what I really wanted in life, but I still couldn’t see straight.
In the next 2 years Milca and I fell in love, moved in together, got engaged, and will get married in January. I went back to school, thoroughly enjoying Speech, but despising my math classes. I kept working full time, but couldn’t stand where I work, who I worked for, and what they stood for. This hasn’t changed to date.
I want something different. I want more. I want to go to school, but I might break down trying to work and go to school at the same time. Some people can do it, but I’m not one of them. Maybe part time, but not full time. I’d kill for a part time job. I don’t really want to be a teacher all that much anymore, and if I did I’d probably want to teach really young kids. I’ve wanted to act most of my life. I never pursued it because I’ve always been told I need something to fall back on, which I was then told should be dictated by my strengths. All of this combined with my male mentality where I need to plan for a family and be able to provide for them made me look towards other things.
I still want to go to school. I want to write. I want to read. I want to act. I want to learn. I don’t want to take another math class if I can avoid it, and if I have to I’ll take fluff. I want to do voice acting. I want to do plays.
I’ve been extremely depressed these past few months. I’ve been really happy with my relationship, but everything around it was sucking me dry. Too little time to do anything I really wanted to and so much time doing what I don’t like. I suppose one could argue that this is life, but I’m young enough that I can change it while I still have the chance.
That being said, let’s go.