Once, in the long, long ago, in the before time, when one wanted to change the channel on their television, they had to get their ass up and change it. Then came the remote, which made life easier when you wanted one of the other 13 channels they had to offer. When cable came along, those that were electronically proficient could program their remote to remember several of their favorite channels to make surfing that much easier. You could also just push the up/down for slower browsing, which wasn’t too bad because there were only 100 channels, tops.
Then God said, “Let their be Digital Cable and Satellite,” and they were good. The remote/surfing system had been upgraded. Menus, screens with what’s on, what will be on, and what the shows are all about. Several channels’ info on the screen at a time, easily surfed while still watching whatever it is that you are considering changing in the mean time. No more watching the flicker of channels as you go through all the undesirable shows to get to the ones that tickle your fancy… unless, of course…
Milca doesn’t use the menu option. She uses the channel up/down. Granted, the info shows up on the top of the screen for whatever channel you are on for a moment or two, but that still means going through roughly 600 channels one by one to find what she wants. It’s painful. The screen is black while the satellite loads the channel, so surfing involves watching a black, flickering screen with only the occasional sound of half a second of programming until the channel is changed again.
“For the love of God, please use the menu.”
No answer. Black flickering screen. “Here we…*bang, bang*…bottom of the nin…” from the speakers. My hands clench, my teeth grind, and my eyes are seconds from going on strike and jumping out of my skull. I use every ounce of self control to prevent snatching the remote.
Once in a while she will actually use the menu, but not often enough.
Funny thing is that when I am browsing the channels, 4 at a time, I am not quick enough for her standards.
I love that girl more than words can say. I suppose that’s why I’m getting married to her, huh?