I am at my wits end here. This entire soirée with my father and grandparents is truly silly and ridiculous, in my opinion.
As these situations are different, though related, I’ll lay it out for you.
Any relationship that could have been fixed with my father has long since faded away. I do not see it happening, nor do I desire it to.
My grandparents, on the other hand, are a weird area for me, and today is another testament to this. Today they came down from their home to talk to my family. It should be noted that there was some talk of me, and what was said was paraphrased by my brother Corey.
Summary:
1) I’m being immatture
2) We have 3 months to fix this “problem,”
3) After which time they will give up on me,
4) After which time they will have one fewer grandson.
What really gets me about this whole thing is that they haven’t talked to me since their Anniversary last June, at which time my father and I still spoke, and were cordial. Even then, we hadn’t talked about any problems in the family. It was all general chit chat, me introducing Milca to them, and what have you.
My problems with my father date back to when I was about six. They truly errupted when I was in 8th grade, when he hit me. This wasn’t the first time, which isn’t to say that it happened often, or even sporadic, but it wasn’t an isolated incident. I called the police, and he was taken to jail because there were marks on me. My grandparents’ lawyer got him off, as this was the first documented occurance, and he was a Boy Scout leader, etc.
When my dad got home, he blamed me for everything. It was all my fault. He cornered me into his bedroom so he could tell me everything that he had to go through in lock up, because of me. I was young, but I wasn’t stupid. I was fully aware of what I had done. When he was in his rage, a rage I had never seen before, I had no idea how far he would go. When he went to his room after hitting me, I picked that phone up and dialed 911, like EVERY ADULT HAD EVER TOLD ME TO DO IN THE PAST. If an adult hits you, tell your parents. If it is a parent, tell a teacher or a police officer.
My mother’s mother, God rest her soul, talked to me the first time we saw eachother after that. She gave me advice, which at the time, I resented her for. She told me that I should have excersized more self control. I have to excersize self control? But he’s the one that hit me. After I had grown up a bit I fully realized what she had meant. I have a level of control over any situation I am in. He hit me, and he should be responsible for his own actions, but I could have kept my cool and not provoked him. Pick your battles. Be in control. After I figured this out, my father was rarely able to yell at me. I would instantly analyze the situation to him, typically saying, “What you are yelling about is (blank). I have nothing to do with (blank).” Then it stopped, and he talked instead of yelling.
The next time I saw my grandparents they said nothing. We never talked about what happened. We never talked about anything. We still don’t talk about anything. As a matter of fact, the only things they know about me are either what I post here (which I’ve onlybeen doing this year), and what other people have told them.
At one point they were none to pleased with my mother, for what I don’t recall, but it had something to do with what my father was telling them. They believed him. They didn’t ask her. Then, when they confronted her about it, she set them straight. Then they wised up that he wasn’t telling them everything. There was another side to the story.
They still haven’t heard my side of the story. I haven’t posted all of it here. That’s a conversation for me and them, not the general public. I post a lot of what happens here, but I will not let them off that easy. They can’t just get the Cliff’s Notes online.
There’s also a possibility that they will take legal action if I don’t say something nice about my father. What’s funny is that the only people that read this blog, and let’s remember that I am tracking who reads this site, are my friends, all the Loops (yes, all of them, except likely not the younger children), and those people who found my site through TJ’s place, as he has me linked.
TO THIS DAY, NEITHER MY FATHER, MY GRANDMOTHER, NOR MY GRANDFATHER HAS MENTIONED THIS SITE TO ME IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. As far as I know, I’m sitting on a stump in a lonely forest yelling to the squirrels.
Bastard son, indeed. Say it to my face.