In The Loop
*authentic frontier jibberish
I am trying hard not to blast Lucas again. “Everything here is so soft…” Not only does he sound like a 15 year old, but shen he’s being romantic he sounds like a 50 year old pervert trying to get a 12 year old girl on the internet.
I just typed a really long rant and decided not to go on and on about boring dreary things like my boss and his irrational demands regarding cleanliness.
Instead I will merely say that this weekend was quite delightful, and I will post about it when my boss’s whip marks have healed. Dammit, I let that one slip!!
In the mean time, It’s become painfully apparent that there are a lot of first time readers out there thanks to tj’s place. So, for all of you trying to catch up on The Loop, here’s some of my posts that you should get a kick out of. Enjoy.
Advice from the man with a mullet
Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina
An open letter to whoevere you are
The night with the sock on my junk
Did my mom have an affair with Bill Murray?
A mom just came in with her two kids, one that couldn’t be older than 3, the other still in a stroller. While I was answering questions the mom had, the 3 year old went to the pens we sell, picked one up, and waved it at us saying, “Wingardium Leviosa!!” I nearly died.
I educated mom, who hadn’t read past the second book, that this next book made movie will be darker and scarier. Not more violent, just scarier. Her husband had read the book, she’s going to.
Then I saw the cutest thing I’ve seen all day (except for Croce on Milca’s pillow, which is nearly impossible to surpass on the cute scale). The 3 year old looked up at us talking about Harry Potter, and he said, “I like Harry Potter!!”
“What’s your favorite?” I asked, leaving it open to favorite movie/book/character/event/etc.
“When Hermione goes to the bathroom, and there’s the troll, and it almost gets ’em, but then they take the thing, and, and they get away.”
Awesome.
Today has been interesting, to say the least. I woke up at 6:30 to finish my math homework that was due today. It’s a pretty easy section on conic sections, if you’re math literate. I’m also retaking the class, so I’m familiar with the material. I caught some mistakes that the professor made that jinxed an entire board’s worth of work. That was cool. I didn’t get a See’s sucker, but that’s another story (post?).
After class I rushed to work. I get there early every day. I suppose I do that because I don’t have anywhere to go for the 30 minutes between school and work. I also leave early fairly often, so it all balances out. Pi was here this morning. He and his assistant, who used to be my boss many moons ago, have been coming here fairly often to help us get our routine together. One of the first things to come up was that his assistant had been offered a job in Oregon. This assistant grew up here, has a wife and kid, and has the rest of his family here. He didn’t take it. One of the other managers in the area has been up for a promotion, too. He did take it.
Several months ago, I went to Pi’s store to help with a revamp they were doing. This entailed staying there the weekend at a motel, getting my meals comped, and learning the in’s and out’s of setting up a store. When Pi had asked if I would be available for this, he said that he wanted me to learn this stuff so that if a store became available he’d want me to manage it. I thought it was a pretty cool compliment, and that was that. Then a couple weeks ago he said the same thing again.
Now there’s a manager position that will be up for grabs. After the paperwork goes through, Pi has to wait for his boss to see if there is someone else in the country that’s been passed up for a promotion that would want to move here. If he is told that he has to come up with a replacement, there’s a hefty chance that I’ll be the one.
I called Milca at work to tell her the news, or update, if you will. She was on the other line. She called me back a few minutes later. It turns out that her friend’s father passed away this morning.
I’m having a hard time talking about these two things in the same post, but that’s really what this post is about. Every day we hear good news and bad news. Is there ever truly a balance? My news is okay, better than bad you could say, but this other news is not good. Granted, the worse news was finding out that he was sick to begin with, and the fact that he was able to have these last moments with his kids and wife was a good thing. What I’m having a hard time with is that conundrum we call death. It’s necessary and inevitable,yet we fear it. Some say you’re not really paranoid if they’re after you. Maybe we fear it so much because it truly will happen one day. Death really is after me.
I’ve had deaths in my family, nothing like what she’s going through, but similar. I’ve moved on, but still look back fondly. Honor those that have passed by living every day to it’s fullest. That’s the best I’ve come up with these 24 years. That’s all I’ve got for you, oh my brothers. Send all your happy thoughts to Miss Sweet Cheeks.
Mother’s Day weekend has come and gone. I went to the play early Sunday so that I could see some old friends that do the costuming and make up, and to reminisce with the cast about days long since past.
The auditorium has been redone significantly. The area off stage is cluttered with tons of crap. The dressing rooms have been revamped, the carpetting in the theater redone, etc. Overall I like the changes they made, except that there are windows on the doors coming into the theater. This let light in, which is a no-no. For those that read that know what the fuck I’m talking about (1, maybe 2, if that many…), R4D3 and BEAN are still named accordingly.
The play was… well, it made me want to shoot some people. Some of the “creative liberties” taken weren’t all that creative. One or two things were pretty funny, but there were some thigs that shouldn’t have been done, like silly accents that made no sense, and weren’t maintained. Before anything else, you need to make sure that you don’t compromise the play. It was. I still had fun, mind, but I think that if you’re going to do a “fun version” you should rehearse and coreograph it. Of course, you’d need the time and patience to do it, but if you want it bad enough, you should put the time in. Just an opinion.
My brother’s additions were funny, but his director didn’t think so. I’m not sure if that means he got yelled at or talked to. Either case wouldn’t be ideal, but that’s show business.
After the play I took my mom and brother Charles to CPK. My mom had never been, which is unacceptable. We had some good eats, went to Pie ‘n Burger for some pie. They’re the bomb. I repeat, THEY’RE THE BOMB. Get pie. Now. It’s by Caltech on California.
I dropped them off at home, and went home to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone on TV so I could see all the extra footage and for the sneak peaks at Prisoner of Azkaban. I was not disappointed. Needless to say, it’s going to rock. I’ll post more on that as it becomes available.
Life is good.
Breastification.
There was a young brave who went for a hike one day. He decided to climb to the highest peak of the highest mountain in the area. Knowing that it would be a long trip, and the top would be colder at the top than it is at the base, he brought extra clothes and some food.
The trail was long, and grew narrower and narrower. A bit more than half way up the mountain the winds made it cold enough that he put on an extra layer to keep himself warm.
Upon reaching the top, he looked out onto the land, and saw very far. After taking in a deep breath and admiring the view, he looked at his feet to see a snake shivering in the cold.
“What are you doing so far up here, little snake?”
“I slithered up here, but didn’t realize it would be this cold. Could you please take me to the bottom of this mountain?”
The young brave knew that this was a poisonous snake, and pointed this out to the snake.
“Yes, but if I hurt you, then I will surely die. I will not hurt you.”
The young brave thought long and hard about this, and decided to help the young snake. He went back down the mountain, carefully yet swiftly. Upon reaching the bottom, the snake stretched out and took in some of the heat from the sun. After a couple seconds, the snake then attacked the young boy, and bit his leg.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t attack me?”
“That is true,” the snake replied, “but you knew what I was when you picked me up. How could you expect me to be anything but what I am?”
*********************
A couple years ago I had a run in with a little snake. I hadn’t seen her until yesterday. That was fun.
Queen’s album A Night at the Opera is easily my favorite Queen album of all time. It should be known that Queen may be my favorite band of all time, so that should tell you where this album stands in the greater scheme of The Loop.
The album opens with Death on Two Legs, one of the harder songs on the album, which depicts a scorned lover’s feelings about that ex that has gone away to other things (people). Most anybody can relate to this song, and you can’t help but feel some spite for one of your own former lovers.
From Death on Two Legs we transition straight into Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon. These two songs couldn’t be more different from each other. Lazing is a happy little tune depicting the average week. Good for a much needed smile after Death on Two Legs.
Now that you’re grinning from Lazing, you can get a giggle from I’m in Love With My Car. The song is seemingly about how a man loves his car more than his woman, as his car doesn’t talk back to him. I can’t help but feel that the car is a metaphor for a man, but that’s only because it’s Queen. In either case, I’m in Love With My Car is a great little song for the car lover or friend of Dorothy.
You’re my Best Friend is one of their classic songs, and rightly so. One of the best songs to depict friendship I’ve ever heard. Even more than that, it’s a song that makes me think of how much I’m in love. She’s not only my lover, but she is, in fact, my best friend.
’39 is a ballad that is enchanting to the ear. I can’t say that I know what story is being told, but it reminds me of that cookie cutter tale of a voyager leaving home for hope, when hope is already at home.
Sweet Lady is a song from the perspective of a man who is pussy whipped talking about his love. Coming from someone who has been whipped, I can’t help but think that this song hits the head on the nail. Give it a listen so you can relate or find out what you’re not missing.
Seaside Rendezvous tells the story of two cultured types meeting at the ocean for a romantic evening. A cute little tune with a story that you might be able to tell on your own. God knows I have had a seaside rendezvous in my life.
The Prophet’s Song is a rock ballad about Noah’s Ark. It’s not preachy, it’s just what he might have said to make a bunch of people believe what he had to tell them about George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg.
Love of My Life is how you feel when you get dumped. Well, it’s one of the stages of feeling you go through that typically precedes anger and spite.
Good Company tells an interesting story and invaluable lesson about life. I’ve known people to scorn Queen that could learn a lot from this song imparticular. It’s ironic, really.
Bohemian Rhapsody speaks for itself, but I’m going to put a spin on it for you. Queen wanted this song to sound like an opera, though none of the band had ever been to one. I’ve only been to one, La Boheme, which is ironic, as this song addresses some similar issues. Newfound disease puts life into total perspective for this young man. He has found that he may have spread this to someone else, which may very well kill them, too. The inner turmoil is something that the outsider can only imagine, but this song pretty much puts it all into perspective for the unknowing.
The album closes with God Save the Queen. For those uneducated Americans that think that this is our song, you likely know it as America (My Country Tis of Thee). Since it’s instrumental, it’s hard to know the difference, but this is a British band, and it says God Save the Queen on the cover. This may be in reverence, or merely in jest as their name is Queen. At any rate, it’s a cool rendition of an otherwise overplayed standard.
The CD has newer versions of I’m in Love with My Car and You’re my Best Friend. They’re okay, and a nice addition, but the album that I listened to most of my youth was the vinyl that didn’t have these, and that was okay.
“I ponder on the lesson of
My life’s insanity
Take care of those you call your own
And Keep Good Company”
Last night I saw my brother Corey in a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He is going to the same high school I went to, and is being directed by the same director who directed me. This teacher was easily my favorite from my high school years. He was one of, if not the only, teacher who honestly cared. He was also a master of the pun and innuendo. Being two of my favorite forms of comedy, we meshed extremely well.
The years I was in the play the cast was very talented. I’d say that my junior year had a better ensemble cast, where me senior year had better individual performers. It’s important to have both dynamics, which I am happy to say this year’s cast has. There were a few people that didn’t know their asses from their elbows when it comes to acting, but they knew their lines, which is more than I can say about previous casts. One guy imparticular sounded like a news reporter from South Park. His voice made Milca’s ears bleed. I thought it added to the surrealistic charm of a high school production of a Shakespearian play. I’m also an optomist.
Corey played Snug, or for those that need a visual, the guy who plays the lion. He roared. He also picked his ass on stage. It was part of his character. My brother picked his ass in character. The only thing I got to do in charactre was be a russian jew living in New York, and pretend to be a monk. To each his own, I guess.
Afterwards we went to Denny’s, which was the only thing open. I’m reminded that Denny’s sucks Turkish unwiped asshole. I have only been told that Turks smell bad by friends who have been surrounded by them, so this is heresay for the most part, but you get the general idea.
I’m going to the play again Sunday, which is supposed to be some sort of extreme version. It’s really just a chance for the cast to fuck around on stage while saying lines in costume. I hope my eyes don’t start to bleed, or jump out of their sockets in disgust.
For all the Vampire The Masquerade dorks out there…
Mysterious and a scholar, you are a member of the Tremere clan. You are pretty loyal to your clan, well, you sort of have to…especially since you are blood-bonded to most of them. You are the intelligentsia of the Camarilla and are fascinated with the occult. Possessing the ability to use blood for magic, many clans don’t like to approach you. However, that is fine with you. You tend not to trust the other clans anyway.
What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?
Test Created By
And here I thought I’d be more Toreador. Whatever, I’m cool with some Dominate. Auspex isn’t too bad, either. Thaumaturgy is just a given. But then I do have to live the rest of my undead life as a backstabbing whore… c’est la vie… or c’est la morte… whatever.
Your mom.
First, I want to apologize for the double post. The computer froze, and couldn’t load the page when I was posting, so I redid it. Of course, they are both in now, and neither can be deleted. Whatever, you can deal.
Last night I saw, for my first time, one of the most brilliant films of our age. Every aspect of this movie had me in utter awe. The acting, the metaphor, and the artisitic license were outstanding. The film? Dirty Dancing.
I know, you’re all asking “You haven’t seen Dirty Dancing?” No, I hadn’t. Why? It slipped through the cracks. That, and it is a movie with Patrick Swayze in tight pants dancing with Ferris’s sister. Thanks, but no thanks. I knew I had to see it, though, so I buckled down and watched it.
The first thing that blew me away was that it’s set in the 60’s. I had no idea, based on the costuming and dance I had seen in commercials and whatnot. This is one of the more brilliant aspects of the film. The girl, Baby, is a stereotypical do-good girl from the 60’s. She wants to change the world, make a difference, and loves all people on earth as equals. The Swayz (that’s pronounced the same as sways) is a dance instructor bad boy who is misunderstood, and underestimated as far as his talent.
Bad boy, good girl, initial lust on her part, indeifference on his, circumstances call for a colaboration, they fall in love, their worlds collide, there’s static, ulitamtely love triumphs. Standard plot. It’s almost like Romeo and Juliet, except everyone lives at the end… and I don’t have to think about Leonardo DiCrapio.
The kicker is the ending. This is where all the metaphor comes full swing. Her world is very 60’s. His is very 80’s. When the worlds collide, you get a fully coreographed dance sequence with tons of people that look like they belong in the dance club scene in ‘Earth Girls are Easy.”
I laughed almost the whole way through. It’s not particularly funny, per se, but the fact that every 5 seconds the tow of them are dancing or boning makes it hard not to chuckle. The lack of story is made up by the fact that the Swayz’s ass is very much the star of the film. I constantly had to question whether his ass was real or not. Ferris’s sister was okay looking. The extras on the DVD have her present day doing interviews. She had a nose job, and looks nothing like her old self. Pity. She was cuter when she looked like the girl next door. Granted, a very attractive girl next door, but you get my meaning.
This is by no means an excellent film. I wouldn’t even say that it’s a good movie. It’s one of those “so bad it’s good” movies, but it’s on the top of that bracket. Give it a look-see. Have a laugh.
Boobies.