They’re finally meeting my needs

The company I work for is switching buildings.  We recieved a packet telling us what to expect in the move.  In this packet is the blueprint of the new place, all color coded and whatnot.  If you look very closely near the receptionist’s desk there is a small bathroom, and…

What does that fine print say?

Does that say…

LACTATION ROOM?!

Santa finally got my letter.

Tofu and Soy have a bum wrap

And the problem is that we give their products names like “soy milk,” and “tofu burger.”  When you attach the name of another food, then your taste buds anticipate that flavor.  When that’s not what you get, you immediately have a negative reaction because it’s not what you expected.  Soy milk is hardly milk, but it’s the bomb in cereal.  I had a BBQ tofu burger from the vegetarian place on Lake, and it was more of huge sandwich on a bun than a burger.

So, I say that these health food companies should stop trying to trick people that they’re eating milk/cheese/meat.  We get it.  I understand that this portobello patty is not really beef, and I’m okay with that, so you don’t have to call it a burger for my part, alright?

Hooves

I’m not eating the meat these days anymore.  There are rare exceptions, typically dealing with awesome pasta made from scratch topped with a sauce that has chunks of beef that just fall apart in your mouth…

Anyway, nothing but fish.  Not even chicken this time.  Weeeeee!

Re-evolved

My thighs throb with pain
I can’t keep this up for long
Opening my root

My branches are sore
Where the trunk meets the limb aches
Opening my heart

Have to close my eyes
Lids down, eyes up and center
Opening my mind

Life’s tribulations
Flashing in the sweaty eyes
Life’s new path laid out

Root, heart, mind: opened
Muscles and nerves brim with pain
Root, heart, mind; with joy

My monologue for my theater class

“It is back, they will have noticed it… and now, we shall see… now we shall know. How many will be brave enough to return when they feel it? And how many will be foolish enough to stay away? But look! My true family returns.

[Others appear]

Welcome, friends. Thirteen years… thirteen years since last we met. Yet you answer my call as though it were yesterday… We are still united, then! Or are we? I smell guilt. There is a stench of guilt upon the air. I see you all whole and healthy, with your powers intact. Such prompt appearances!

…and I ask myself, why did this band of followers never come to the aid of their master, to whom they swore eternal loyalty?

…and I answer myself, they must have believed me broken, they thought I was gone. They slipped back among my enemies, and they pleaded innocence, and ignorance, and bewitchment.

…and then I ask myself, but how could they have believed I would not rise again? They, who knew the steps I took, long ago, to guard myself against mortal death? They, who had seen proofs of the immensity of my power in the times when I was mightier than any man alive?

…and I answer myself, perhaps they believed a still greater power could exist, one that could vanquish even me. Perhaps they now pay allegiance to another. It is a disappointment to me. I confess myself disappointed. Forgiveness? I do not forgive. I do not forget. Thirteen long years, I want thirteen years’ repayment before I forgive you.”

Voldemort – HPatGoF

Swings for the Fences

My boy Justin is running a game of Werewolf with my boys Phil, Jesse, and Anthony.  We’ve recently added the most excellent Holly, who should round out the testosterone in the room.
I play Jimmy Ryan, a high school senior that was the star of the baseball team in high school until he was hit in the temple with a baseball.  He finds out after having his dreams of playing professionally crushed that he is a werwolf, and goes to live with a bunch of other teenage werewolves.  The storyline is much cooler than I make it sound, I’m just trying to paraphrase.

So, we played again Sunday and finished a storyline that we had been working on for some time now.  I made a couple in game items to use in combat.  A baseball that goes a lot faster than a normal ball (doing more damage) and a glove that, when worn, will return thrown items back to me.

Dork, dork, dork.  God, I can’t wait for Vampire.

“Blood of Christ?!  BLOOD OF SEVERIN!”

-Severin Geringer